Monday, July 2, 2012

Top Ten Pinoy Typhoon Boo-Boos

Ten: If students are given the liberty to choose their schedules for the school year I’ll bet 10 Million Dollars that 97% will choose the PM shift.

Aside from the fact that they don’t have to wake up at 5AM to listen to the early morning news they also gain benefit from the late advisory of DepED and their respective Mayors who have made it a habit to declare suspension of classes after lunch time.

Nine: Typhoons bring out the Kuya Cesar in DepED and Local Government Units.  They take their time before they announce with finality if there would be suspension of classes but they would be quick as thunder in pointing fingers on who should have done it in the first place.

Eight: It only takes one mayor within the vicinity to declare ‘no classes!’ and the rest would follow. I don’t know if they are playing ‘pass the message’ or they just have the mentality ‘pag hindi nag suspend, hindi ka IN!’

Seven: Listening to AM radio stations 5AM in the morning is so primitive. Updates from twitter are now more reliable than PAGASA, DepED and Metro Mayors combined.

Six: Students who insist on going to school are either determined, determined to go the mall or determined not to lose a day’s worth of allowance. So, mom and dad, please stop the 'no school no pay' policy!

Five: Typhoons make Madam Auring more reliable compared to PAG-ASA.

If PAG-ASA forecasted a typhoon to hit an area you could almost be certain that it would be sunny the entire day. Consequently, if they announce that there is no typhoon you could bet your retirement fund that Metro Manila would be flooded in just a few hours which makes you wonder if sarcasm is a basic requirement in weather forecasting. 

Four: Typhoons like Manny Pacquiao bouts make primetime news telecast predictable. The headlines would all be uniform: a teenage boy drowned in the river while swimming with friends, terrible flooding and traffic in EDSA plus landslides in some provincial areas. Of course the star of the season: Malabon, Marikina and Angat, La Mesa Dam and the legendary Espana.

Three: Typhoons bring out the ingenuity and business acumen of the Pinoys.

Who in the world would have thought that stones and wood planks can be made into makeshift bridges and that pedestrians who don’t want their feet get wet should pay a minimum of 2PhP?

Two: Typhoons are not only made up of strong winds and heavy rains; they also help forge stubborn citizens.

As soon as the government organizes and calls for evacuation efforts only 10% will oblige, the other 90% would rather blame the government if something bad happens to them and to their family.

One: Typhoons are a painful reminder that you are a part of the income-generating workforce of this country and as such you have no right to stay at home even if it means you have to go through flying billboards, chest-deep floods and riding rubber boats just to go to work. 

Hazard is a word reserved for those who enters school and those that work in government office.

Post-Script: In the Philippines, a typhoon is a political opportunity.

For the incumbent to distribute noodles and sardines and be perceived as helpful and for the hopefuls to start their campaign via relief good operations.


  1. I sooo love points number 10 and 3!

    Having to commute from Bulacan to España forced me to be wide awake by 4am back in the day. Traversing the length of Commonwealth and Quezon Avenues took a good hour and a half, making me one of the first persons in the campus and last to know about the suspension of classes!

    Then the painstaking bout to get a ride going back home! Enter the wooden planks laid on the gutter to protect my well polished Mendrez heels, the brand was big my time. Once the sound of coins hit their "latas," you'll be a princess for a second or two - having escorts take you by the hand so as not to fall in the floodwater!

    Thank God for the all lugawans and gotohans within the vicinity that kept me warm in such drenching days... Before my long commute going back to the north of course. I MISS COLLEGE!

    1. shoot! i forgot to include the world-famous ESPANA-USTE area! hahaha!