Saturday, June 23, 2012

Year 2052: The Future of Philippines, Vice Ganda and Bimby Aquino Yap

The year is 2052. Forty years away from the Philippines that we know today.

Vice Ganda will be declared as National Artist by then President Bimby Aquino Yap (who was elected after her mother Kris Aquino died due to cancer of the mouth).

Praybet Benjamin joins 'Himala' and 'Manila Sa Kuko ng Liwanag' as the greatest Filipino movie of all time.

Lito Lapid enacted a law that requires all senate inquiries to be conducted via powerpont presentation otherwise known as ‘Picha Pie Bill’.

The nominees for the Chief Justice of the Philippines enter the Big Brother house. The public scrutinize their every move based on the 24/7 surveillance camera and from there decide who is best to interpret the highest law of the land- the constitution- via text votes.

This, they say is the ultimate heritage of the 'daang matuwid' campaign promise. The marriage of media, publicity and transparency.

After seven successive Chief Justice replacements, the Republic of the Philippines remains to be a third-world country.

GMA has been declined for burial at the Libingan Ng Mga Bayani. The Macapagal family decided to preserve her remains at their ancestral house in Pampanga and open it to the public ala museum.  

In it you would see the legendary ‘Hello Garci cassette tape’ and the infamous ‘wheelchair’ which they say has been passed down from Garciliano to Corona and yes even to Bradley!

image courtesy of

For the first time in Philippine history no boxer joined the Olympics to represent the country. Each of them opted to be signed by Top Rank Promotions to fight in Las Vegas instead.

The congress enacted a law to have two remote (offshore) sessions every year to be conducted in Las Vegas, that way- it’s business as usual. The session is titled: 'this is where your taxes go'.

Mommy Dionesia who just turned 110 years old faints after watching the Buzz which exposed that his son Manny now rivals former Senator Revilla Sr. in the number of offspring produced.

Manny is currently at 73 the record to beat is 87. Birth certificates would be required by Guinness suppose they apply for worldwide recognition.

After her separation with Manny, Jinky has put up a museum of all the Hermes, LV and Birkin bags she accumulated all through out the years.

People visiting the place mistake it for a wax museum after they saw Jinky and Belo standing stationary inside the venue.

A law has been enacted to officially declare Rizal as the National Hero. The same law also will officially confer the title National Boxer to Pacquiao and SM Malls as the new National Park.

Claudine Baretto now runs a famous fitness gym for boxing and asian martial arts. She ran as partylist representative pushing for the betterment of Cebu Pacific services and giving justice to those who have been aggrieved and victimized by lost baggage.

Sharon Cuneta has been canonized as the third Filipino saint by Vatican for her contributions in spreading the word of God through bible verse on twitter. She has been named Patron Saint of Palengke.

Philippines remains to be the only country in the world not allowing divorce thanks to the Catholic Church who has been so firmly stubborn in consistently lobbying against the RH Bill which has been pending for 4 decades now.

Their next target: to ban the 35th edition of PBB Teens sponsored by Alimbambang, Sogo Hotel and Victoria Court. 


  1. Hahaha! Very funny! Parang 'The Professional Heckler' ang peg! Nice!

    1. thanks for dropping by ms.chuni and bothering to leave a comment! Professional Heckler is Professional Heckler! Ms.Chuni is Ms.Chuni! :)

  2. Agree ako kay Miss Chuni. Professional Heckler levels! Keep it up! Inggit ako sa mga taong kayang gumawa sa ganyang literary genre. :p

  3. Hey charles! Thanks! Kaya mo yan- read lang ng read and then write as often as you can! Hope you'd be able to check other articles from this blog!

  4. By 2052 people wouldn't need to leave the comfort of their homes to vote during the election, voting will be via text which will be monitored through TV, probably hosted by Toni Gonzaga! hahahah

    1. Toni Gonzaga would have been too old by that time! Hahaha!

  5. lol kris aquino ...cancer of the mouth .... :D

  6. naloka ako dun sa napagkamalang wax museum! LOL