Thursday, June 21, 2012

It's More Fun In The Philippines: EDSA Edition

The Guinness Book Of World Records has just declared EDSA to be the world’s biggest parking lot!

Borrowing the famous line of one of Willie Revillame's dancer: 'Congraaaatulations!'

Even if you were just born yesterday, you’ll know that EDSA is the traffic capital of the Philippines.

According to latest estimates around 2 million vehicles ‘go through’ this 24 kilometer road everyday stretching from Pasay to Quezon City.

The 2 million-vehicle count could have been higher if only public buses would take the initiative to move every 60 seconds and not stay stationary for 30 minutes until the bus is full. 

And they say that jeepneys are the king of the road in the Philippines?  How about giving a monicker to the buses in EDSA as the ‘Evil Queen’ or alternatively the ‘Bitchy, Spoiled Stepsister’?

And then you have taxi drivers justifying a fixed rate from point A to B just because it is traffic.

Come Christmas time when everyone is out shopping they would use every opportunity not only to jump up the price of the fare but make sure that you feel so 'kawawa' by denying you multiple times all because the route to your destination entails braving through some serious traffic situation. Talk about one of the 7 deadly sins personified! Hello there Greed!

EDSA, apart from being the major road in the metro has also been abused as an excuse by employees who have been habitually late.

If only EDSA can take the role of Vilma Santos in ‘Bata, Bata, Paano ka Ginawa?’ it would shout ‘wala akong ginagawang masama!’

To which commuters would echo Carlo Aquino’s sentiments: ‘akala mo lang wala pero meron! meron! meron!’ (slap in the face to follow!)

Some conservative groups together with publicity hungry politicians, not so long ago condemned billboards which they think contains explicit contents that are not appropriate for the saintly Filipino population. 

But here's the deal:

(1) If I want to watch porn, I won't do it in EDSA, particularly in Guadalupe area. I'd rather have it at the comforts of my room.

(2) I don't see why wearing briefs is porn and wearing bra, panties or two piece swimsuit is not!

(3) I will give a standing ovation to the first politician who would enact a law classifying political ads as  pornographic in nature which would eventually pave the way for them to be banned in the major streets of the metro. 

A recent study points out to the business revenue that is lost because of the poor traffic condition in the Philippines. The reverse is the case for the Big 3 Oil companies – Shell, Petron and Chevron. The worse the traffic condition is the more dollars they rake in.

Speaking of making revenue out of traffic, did you know that there are 31 malls spread through out EDSA? The fun part would have to be the 3 days mega sale that they would simultaneously launch over the weekend and yes, people would actually be in 100% support and flood the area. 

Screw traffic! They just want some air-conditioning and a number of good finds!

Forbes recently crowned Henry Sy the richest man in the Philippines with a total asset of $9.1 billion. 

SM has just changed its mission and vision statement to include the phrase ‘our goal is to put up at least one SM mall in every known barangay in the Philippines and provide a place where the mass can have free-air-conditioning during the hotter days of the year.’

Earning us another worldwide acclaim- the country obsessed with malls.


  1. Men in briefs porn? Probably for the "confused." amazing how we can have 31 malls in a 24 km road. That's like 1 mall for every 750 metrs.

    1. Well 'confused' is one great conspiracy theory! Hahaha! Crazy how filipinos patronize malls! An how malls thrive and grow exponentially! Only in the Philippines!