Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Post Mortem: Bieber, Pacman and Mommy D!

So, Justin Bieber 'twitted' some pictures making fun of the Filipino national pride that is Pacman and as expected he got the ire of the sensitive Pinoys. That’s an empirical testament to the recent study naming Pinoys as the most emotional or sensitive race in the planet!

Pinoy netizens were quick to react to Bieber’s photos equating the act as a distasteful act meant to ridicule an entire nation and not a person. 

Last time I checked my geography books, Pacman is not the Philippines and Philippines is not Manny Pacquiao. So why make a big deal out of it?

I also do not know which is more funny, the fact that some Filipino’s find Bieber’s act as an attack to our nation or the fact that these same people are the ones sharing and circulating photos making fun of Dionesia, Jinkee and yes at some point Pacquiao!

Sample of the photo uploaded by Justin Bieber

I think the message is clear, it’s ok to make fun of our own kind. If it’s a foreigner doing it, it’s an attack of some sorts. If that is not double standard I do not know what it is.

Perhaps, stupidity. Perhaps misplaced nationalism. Perhaps boredom.

Bieber made fun of Manny by posting photos on Instagram and Twitter. What he didn't know is that he made fun of himself just by being Justin Bieber!

Breaking: After the incident Pacman is dropping the Bieber look.

Numerous analyses circulated after the Pacman-Marquez IV bout. 

One interesting point of view is that Manny has been dominating the number of punches thrown until that fateful 6th round.

Well, that statement is a fact but it undermines one critical boxing rule- scores only matter in boxing bouts where a knockout did NOT happen. 

In this case, a knockout transpired! In broad daylight!

So yes, discussion of the scores is just immaterial and irrelevant.

Breaking: After the knockout, Pacman camp is seriously considering sacking out Freddie Roach as a coach for the next fight. He will instead be replaced by the legendary Claudine Baretto!

Mon Tulfo refused to comment when asked if he would be a 'willing' sparing partner. 

Mommy Dionesia was quick to point out that the root cause of Pacman’s defeat is his change in religion. 

Funny how a ‘Catholic God’ can enable his son to crush his opponents and how a ‘Born Again God’ cannot.

Unknown to Mommy D though, the Catholic God withdrew support because she (Mommy D) has been more pre-occupied ballroom dancing and shopping for the latest Louis Vitton bag!

In the same interview Mommy Dionesia was quoted saying ‘hindi hayop ang anak ko!’ addressing Bob Arum. 

The melodramatic statement was a nostalgic rehash of the iconic ‘my brother is not a pig!’ line popularized by no less than the Superstar Nora Aunor.

Breaking: There is little credibility to news hinting that Mommy D is starring in the next instalment of Shake, Rattle and Roll series nor will she reprise the role of Corazon: Ang Unang Aswang sans prosthetics!

Meanwhile hardcore anti-RH groups were quick to point out in two separate instances (Habagat and Typhoon Pablo) that such calamities were heaven’s way of saying ‘NO TO RH Bill!’

But when asked if Pacman’s defeat was also a punishment from heaven, the Anti-RH group kept their mouth shut.

Speaking of RH Bill, a quorum is required before it can be enacted in to a law. Lawmakers though are either absent or on leave.

The suggestion is to stage the Pacman-Marquez V at the Batasan so that once and for all attendance of our congressmen would be 100%- even for just a single day.

So I guess before we stage an indignation rally versus Bieber we should first hold our beloved and highly competent Congressmen accountable. 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Price Tag: It's Not About The Money, Manny!

Manny Pacquiao will be facing Juan Manuel Marquez for the fourth time this Sunday. Their match up is second only to the ‘Shake, Rattle and Roll’ series in terms of frequency. When it will ever end?

Manny will face Marquez once again to ‘finally’ settle the score. I don’t know if Bob Arum knows the definition of  the word ‘final’.

Pacman will once again get world-wide attention for his upcoming bout with Marquez. To those who are going to church this Sunday please make sure you say a little prayer for all our kababayans who still thinks that a Pacman victory is tantamount to national pride.

Congressman Manny would take home the lion’s share in Sunday’s bout. Kung talagang lumalaban para sa bayan, I guess its time to donate 100% of the profit to the victims of the recent typhoon in Mindanao! Not gonna happen! According to Jinkee, Hermes, Birkin and Louis Vitton.

TV stations would once again flock to General Santos City to get a footage of Mommy Dionesia on her knees praying intently with matching passing out. Any Pacman fight would not be complete without this news clip. Problem is Halloween is over!

Those who have been scared to troop the mall for a Christmas shopping, Sunday is your best bet! The entire Metro Manila turns into a ghost town during Pacman fights and so is the Batasan!

I am glad that our honorable congressmen are still able to go to Batasan at this time of the year nakakahiya naman kasi sa kanila kung hindi nila mapapanood LIVE ang Pacman-Marquez di ba?

Sports analysts are saying that the Pacman-Marquez bout would be all out. If that is the case, both boxers might have stitches after the fight. Jinkee on the other hand would be contented just to have another shot of botox. Kutis wax-museum ang peg.

The Mayans, when they predicted the apocalypse, actually had the vision of Mommy Dionesia and her rebulto plus the dramatic and proverbial ‘himatay’ moment. The end of the world as we know it is not Dec 21 but rather Dec 9. 

Oh wait! There’s still the Metro Manila Festival on Dec 25!