Sunday, January 11, 2015


Dear Pope Francis:

Welcome to the Philippines.

It might interest you to know that we are a very proud race. We take pride in the fact that our fellow Filipinos are trending online and we celebrate if one if us makes it to the finals of the American Idol or X Factor in some other countries. We call it ‘national pride’.

Speaking of ‘national pride’, you would also be delighted to know that we take it to the extreme. Meaning, if someone makes it internationally, we basically make him a god. One very good example is Manny Pacquiao- we made him a congressman, we also plan to make him a Senator or Vice President come 2016, we made a celebrity out of his mom and wife and kids. 

Heck! We even allowed him to own a basketball team and be its playing coach! We take pride in the fact Filipinos don’t commit crime whenever he fights, we made him a singer, an actor, an endorser. Don’t be surprised if CBCP nominates him as a saint in the next few years.

We are a nation with a very short memory. You see, we have ousted Marcos some three decades back and now his entire family is back with power and there is even a movement calling for his son’s return to Malacanang.

Another classic example is when we ousted Estrada a few years back and just when got released, he almost won the presidency once again!

We jail small time robbers but we adore big time plunderers. Name it we have it- mayors, congressmen, senators, presidents. We re-elect them election after election.

Whenever we catch our politicians lying, stealing or cheating- we don’t expect them to resign, rather we expect them to deny, dismiss it as fabricated story and then win another term or a higher post!

If you are not yet dizzy with amazement, please also know that we are a nation of shopping malls. Each city is bursting with malls- we have more malls than public hospitals! Beat that!

Please also note that if you would be disgusted with anything that you will see or experience while in the Philippines, better keep your mouth shut and never make a remark. We have a habit of declaring ‘persona non grata’ anyone who dared to criticize us, and this country- never mind if what they say is true. Please ask Mr. Dan Brown.

Recently we made international headlines as the country with the most luxurious prison cells! Please look at the picture below. Don’t they just look like five star hotels?

Photo courtesy of

We know that we have a world-record traffic situation in Metro Manila but we just complain and refuse to do anything about it- except of course by tweeting it or making it a Facebook status.

Our government thinks it is a joke to have a dysfunctional, inefficient and dangerous train system. Our bus and jeepney drivers think that they own the roads- they swerve left and right as if they were small motorcycles.

If you are lucky enough to hail a cab on a rush hour in a payday Friday then chances are, you will be a victim of hold-up!

We complain about garbage films during MMFF but we patronize them every year- never failing to make them blockbusters!

I think you will be surprised and disgusted to know that while the church and Baclaran and Quiapo is known for many devotees, they are the same spots with the most number of swindlers, robbers and snatchers! You would even find abortion potions being sold just right outside!

We are a nation who completes ‘Simbang Gabi’ because we believe that a wish would be granted as if God is some kind of a genie.

Welcome to the Philippines!

PS. How did you enjoy the world's worst airport?