Tuesday, January 7, 2014

TAE PO: Top 5 Notorious Punch Lines of 2013

2013 was one of the most devastating years for a third world country like the Philippines who, despite being frequently visited by naturally occurring disasters, has not learned from it. Special mention has to be given to epal politicians whose disaster recovery skills are limited to a conjunction of TV appearance and relief operations.

But apart from Habagat and Yolanda who made the headlines last year, a number of punch lines also hugged the spotlight!

I am listing down the five most notorious! You have been warned!

At number five, we have the loud and proud TV host whose hobby includes flaunting his millions, reducing entertainment to young women dancing like crazy in skimpy outfits and castigating his staff in public!

How to best use it in real life:

Imagine yourself inside an exclusive village at midnight and the security guards would not let you pass the gates because of existing rules.

Shout at them and roar! ‘You don’t do this to me!!!’

At number four, we have a news-anchor whose patience quickly ran out when his questions were left unanswered!

How to use it in real life:

Imagine yourself talking to the president of this country and you are asking questions about policies on transparency and FOI bill. You start hearing  all kinds and forms bullshits (including the blame game using past administration’s name)

Shout at him and say: ‘Panira ka ng araw eh!’

At number three, we have the perceived queen inconsistencies of the pork barrel scam whose standard answer to all questions thrown at her was a resounding ‘I invoke my right!’

How to use it in real life:

Imagine yourself being a Senator of the Republic of the Philippines who was caught red handed committing plagiarism not once, not twice but multiple times!

Face the media and blab: ‘I invoke my right po!’

At number two, we have a celebrity whose squeaky clean image was shattered when she was reported to have made a scene at a bar allegedly letting go of lines that were almost lifted from a movie script: ‘I can buy you, your friends and this club!’

How to use it in real life?

Please don’t unless you want to appear before BIR Commissioner Kim Henares!

image courtesy of philstar.com

At number one, we have the queen of all kaartehan media who declared earlier that she will quit showbiz for the sake of her son Bimby!

Guess what? Not only did she stay in the limelight but she even managed to appear on an MMFF entry and drag her son to star in it!

Highly Commendable: Though he did not make the cut, this news anchor surely brought the house down for his funny faux pas while reporting live!

How to use it in a real life?

Andaming  dumagsang tae, este tao para manood ng MMFF movies!