Friday, January 11, 2013

The First Filipino In Space

News broke about an initiative to send the first Filipino to the outer space by the year 2014.

In a casual interview, Claudine Baretto was made to comment on a hypothetical question.

Interviewer: Supposed you were chosen as the first Filipino to be sent to the outer space and the spacecraft got delayed how would you react?

We all know what happened next. Except for Mon Tulfo.

When Miss Universe 1st Runner up Janine Tugonon was asked to comment about the issue she said:

‘For me being the first Filipino to reach the outer space is not just about knowing how to speak a specific language, it’s about being able to influence and inspire other people. So whatever language you have as long as your heart is deserving and you have a strong mind to show people, then you can be the first Filipino in outer space.’

In the same interview, no less than the President of the Republic of the Philippines was asked: ‘if you were to bring only one item in the outer space what would it be and why?’

Mar Roxas. My PSP, pakialam mo?

When the queen of talk, Kris Aquino, was asked to comment on what her first words would be as soon as she reached outer space, the star of the famous downy commercial blurted out ‘amoy ulam na ba kayo? I rub it!’

BREAKING:  The former President GMA was cleared by the Saint Luke’s Medical Centre of her life threatening illness!

She then asked her secretary to file her application form so she can be one of the candidates to go to space.

Filipinos signed a petition for the organizers to give GMA a one way ticket to the nearest black hole!

Meanwhile, the organizers received an overwhelming clamor to send ‘Pambansang Kamao’ Manny Pacquiao to be the first Filipino in space.

When asked to comment about the issue here’s what he said: ‘Depende naman yan, itatanong ko muna kay Bob Arum.’

In keeping with their tradition of claiming everything as part of their territory, China spoiled the fun by saying that everyone who wants to go to space must first get a VISA from them.

The infamous senator Tito Sotto was also asked to give comment to the issue but the senator declined to comment saying: ‘Bakit pa eh pag nag comment naman ako sasabihin ng mga detractors ko kinopya ko sa iba basta ang masasabi ko lang jan one small step for a Filipino one giant step for mankind!’

BREAKING! Next Year’s MMFF movies were inspired by this recent happening:

Vic Sotto and Bong Revilla’s Si Agimat, Si Enteng Kabisote At Si Kokey
Mother Lily’s Space, Rockets, Black Hole
Angel Locsin, Angelica Panganiban  and Dingdong Dantes in One More Comet
Vice Ganda, Kris Aquino and AiAi Delas Alas in STARakas
Ate Guy’s Thy Moon

POSTSCRIPT: Henry Sy declined to comment on rumors linking him and his company in the proposed SM Mall of Milky Way while Jollibee and McDonalds keep their heated rivalry as each try to outdo each other to be the first fastfood chain on the moon!


  1. this is crazy, i mean , am going crazy, hahahahhaha. you always amaze me. thanks

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