Sunday, May 27, 2012

Thirteen Things We Learned From The Impeachment Trial

The 'Coronavela' is about to conclude later today. It would be a shame if we walk away not learning a few lessons from this once in a decade spectacle, so here they are:

What the prosecution lacks in evidence they make up with speed as evident in the 24 hour turnaround time for the impeachment to be signed by their 180+ members. I wish they could be like this everyday!

While members of the house of congress can be criticized for the absence of loyalty, they can't be at fault when it comes to obedience.

The Congress  is not the best place to go if you are in search for the brightest minds in the country. Lead Prosecutor Neil Tupas, any objections?

Basic math is not a requirement to be a congressman as evident in their declaration of 40 properties which turned out later to be 4. Don't be deceived though, their addition and multiplication skills are sharpened during release of pork barrel funds!

Neil Tupas has been removed as Lead Prosecutor after day one. He was, since then, replaced by Sen. Franklin Drilon.

Cuevas and Enrile are two living proofs that memory does not depreciate with age. Memo Plus Gold should get them as the new brand ambassadors!

If you want to be multimillionaire someday the formula should be easy (1) start saving dollar deposits as early as your grade school years and (2) marry someone with family feud over properties.

The word 'culpa' is Justice Cuevas' kryptonite. 

Incidentally, the best way to pacify Sen. Santiago is to say the magic words- 'Mea Culpa'! The best way to provoke her? Change your name to Neil Tupas! 

Apart of course from covering your ears while she is lecturing.

Contrary to public perception, senators start their day by praying. I wonder why they have yet to invite Cong. Pacquiao to lead the invocation. Perhaps in tomorrow's 'finale'?

Unlike American Idol, the verdict is not left for the public to decide so don't worry CJ Corona even if your 'finale' performance sucks you can still hope for an acquittal. Challenging the congressmen and Sen. Drilon to sign a waiver though was a brilliant move- reminiscent of the movie Drag Me To Hell!
CJ Corona's finale performance revealed who his real mentor is- complete with the wheelchair props and the unconvincing script reminds many of the infamous 'I am sorry' speech!

A few hours from now we will find out if 'conviction' has been redefined not as a penalty for the culpable violation of the constitution but rather a consequence of  wrong interpretation of the Foreign Account Secrecy Law.

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