Thursday, August 16, 2012

Slapping, Plagiarism and Kidnapping: Carabuena, Sotto, GO!

Robert ‘Blair’ Carabuena made a name for himself after a video of him slapping an MMDA officer was made public.

Mr. Carabuena denied reports he is related to Annabelle Rama or Claudine Baretto.

According to reports, Mr. Carabuena has now been suspended by his employer (Philip Morris) following the barbaric incident and public clamor to bring him to justice.

Rumor has it that Mr. Carabuena currently spends his free time conducting initiation rights for neophytes in San Beda’s law fraternity.

Senator Sotto also made headlines recently for accusations of plagiarism in connection to his anti-RH bill speech.

It can be noted that a week ago, when Habagat visited the country, an anti-RH bill advocate warned that the floods and non-stop rains are God’s way of saying ‘No To RH Bill!’

After Sotto delivered his speech, it was made known that the floods and non-stop rains were actually sent so the actor-senator-comedian can be prevented from using the taxpayer’s money to blab about non-sense, illogical hodge-podge.

If it’s any consolation, Senator Sotto just made history by redefining the general perception of the public to government officials. Whereas before, they were perceived as stealing people’s money, now it can be told that they also steal people’s ideas.

In his speech, Senator Sotto claims that pills are dangerous to a woman’s health. Never did he realize that not checking your speech sources could be as deadly.

Simultaneous with Caranbuena and Sotto making the headlines is the news that convicted murderer Rolito Go was ‘kidnapped’ from prison.

After Go was ‘released’ and sent back to prison, rumor has it that the Ampatuan family tried to contact the kidnappers and offered triple the amount for them to kidnap Zaldy.

Similarly, the camp of CGMA is now dropping the ‘I am sick’ card as it seems to be NOT working. They are now in search for the best kidnapping firm to abduct the former president.

Rolito Go was convicted of murder in 1991 when he shot a La Salle student in his car over a traffic argument and Robert 'Barney' Carabuena was like 'oh common! slapping wasn't even close to killing!'

Robert Carabuena will call a press conference in a while to air his sentiments. Here’s the content of his short bit very emotional speech:

‘ I was a victim too! A victim of cyber-bullying! How dare you judge me and call me Barney when all I did was slap that MMDA officer!’

(Looks straight into the camera, cameraman takes a close up shot)

‘I….. did not kill…… anybody!’

POSTSCRIPT: In a recent blog post by the Sarah Pope (writer whose work has been used by Senator Sotto in his speech), she was quoted saying:

‘A thief is a thief, Mr. Senator. Denying it doesn’t get you off the hook; it just makes you a lying thief.’

A famous Filipino saying goes like- ang sinungaling ay kapatid ng magnanakaw. Now it can be told that they are not siblings, rather a case of split personality.

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