Enteng, Rattle and Roll!

It’s summer in December! Unprecedented. 

I don’t know if this is heaven’s way of punishing the Philippine Islands for patronizing the yearly MMFF. All I know is halo-halo is the new star of the Noche Buena!

BREAKING: Puto Bumbong production is currently on hold. Vendors are thinking of replacing it with ice drop or dirty ice cream in time for the yearly tradition of ‘Simbang Gabi!’

If you think that the hot weather at this time of the year is bad and the Twilight movie franchise is worse, wait till you see the line-up of the movies at this year’s MMFF!

Kung kanin ang staple food sa hapag ng mga Pilipino, si Enteng, Si Agimat at ang Shake Rattle and Roll ang constant sa equation ng MMFF.

Well, there is nothing intrinsically wrong with the movies outlined above. I myself is a self-confessed fan of the earlier versions of the Shake, Rattle and Roll series.

The problem lies when these movie franchises are canned and intentionally made to monopolize the venue that is said to showcase and celebrate Filipino creativity, artistry and film-making genius.

Did you know that some 30 years ago, when this annual event was inaugurated (1975) it became the platform for films like Burlesk Queen, Karnal,  Atsay, Bulaklak ng City Jail, Ang Totoong Buhay Ni Pacita M. and yes, Himala!

What happened?

Well producers say the mass needs to be entertained and by entertainment they mean slapstick comedy and cheap scare tactics and shallow plots and excruciatingly bad acting oftentimes relying on surnames, bankability or just like twilight- love teams.

Speaking of Himala, it would be shown in high definition a couple of weeks before MMFF which makes me feel both excited and sad. What happened to the filmmaking industry in the Philippines?

Are we as dumb as these producers perceive us to be?

Perhaps.

How else can a parent stomach their children’s hard-earned pamasko to be spent on the nth installment of the Kabisote franchise?

The movie line up for this year is not any different from the previous years. The only exciting spectacle that can be derived out of this yearly MMFF is if one among the Kabisote or Agimat or Shake Rattle and Roll decides to drop. Thanks Mano Po!

By undermining the capacity of the Filipino to understand and enjoy a good movie, the filmmakers of this country is doing us a disservice. By patronizing garbage outputs we are not only wasting our money but we are proving them right.

So anong bago this December?

Summer. Yun lang. Let’s all go to Boracay! For a change.

The Ugly Truth: Catholic Voting Bloc and RH Bill

In light of the heated debate on the RH Bill, members of the Catholic Church threatened that the ‘catholic voting bloc’ would be felt in the 2013 midterm elections and deny any pro-RH politician a seat in either the senate or the congress.

Remind me again that the bishops are not hallucinating or in a trance when they said this? What voting bloc are they talking about?

The existence of the ‘catholic voting bloc’ if at all it can be confirmed would also pave the way for us to ascertain the existence of mermaids, unicorns and Santa Claus!

If its any consolation, it can be noted that through out history everything that the Church opposed in time became a universal fact. Classic case is that of Galileo who insisted that the sun and not the earth was the center of the solar system.

If at all something can be derived here, apart from the fact that the Church has been the staunchest bully in the history of politics and mankind, it is that the Church cannot be trusted to interpret scientific arguments.

One of the main tenets of our constitution affirms the separation of the Church and the State but for some reasons the Church has always found its way to dip its fingers to the affairs of the state.

Unless we have all forgotten, the Church is the single entity in this country that is absolved and insulated from the claws of ‘tax’ making them invincible from audits and inquiries.

Truth is, the Church has so much in its plate right now. 

The age-old allegations of unresolved sexual assaults conducted by its members, the dwindling number of believers and followers, the advancement of science and technology challenging most their basic belief and the ongoing debate on its relevance in light of the many religions that exist (which is not as restrictive or dogmatic).

Truth is, the Catholic Church in the Philippines could have used its power and influence to tackle and force our crooked politicians to resolve issues on rampant poverty and corruption and help its indigent parish to bring to light their plight on sub-standard education and hunger.

But they chose to dip their fingers on the RH Bill.

Yes, the RH Bill.

They turned their back and insisted on NOT answering the question on how they have educated their parish on responsible parenthood.

It is said that the crooked politicians would rather have a constituent that is uneducated and poor because by doing so they retain their power every election.

The ugly truth is, the same can be said of the Church. They would rather have people who are hungry and people who don’t have anything to eat or a decent place they can call home or adequate access to the right education.

Because by doing so they retain their influence and relevance. 

AMALAYER!

In the tradition of Christopher Lao (the lawyer who insisted ‘I was not informed!’ when asked about his decision to compel his car to whirl in a heavily flooded area) and Robert Blair Carabuena (the pig  HR practitioner who punched and cursed an MMDA officer) another online sensation was born today!  

Kudos to Claudine Baretto for championing this public display of outburst school of behavior!

Thanks to the advent of technology too! Today there’s nothing more dangerous than a pissed off citizen, a public servant in uniform doing his/her job and a random bystander with a cellphone camera.

The online universe called her AMALAYER and by now she is on her way to become another youtube and twitter trending icon.

Well at least until another one takes her place.

Her offense: ‘misbehaving’ in a public place shouting at a lady guard for allegedly mistreating her by asking her to have her bag inspected as a protocol.

AMALAYER retaliated in full volume and predominantly in English while uttering the sentences ‘may pinagaralan akong tao!’

Alright then, if there’s a lesson that can be derived from this incident it is that: ‘not anyone that goes to school can be called ‘may pinag-aralan’

Attending a school and being educated are two different things.

Truth is, AMALAYER didn't utter expletives, she didn't even dare punch the lady guard. She raised her voice yes and made a scene using an armalite of repetitive english words.

The ugly truth is, this girl is not the first person in the Philippines to have used the English language to highlight how she is supposed to be a cut above the rest and acted as if she is entitled to humiliate anyone in uniform.

Oh common! This country worships, loves, fears, adores the English-speaking segment of the population! 

We equate the English language to some sort of supremacy and some even go to the extent of correlating it with intelligence quotient.

No wonder no one takes Lito Lapid seriously. Well, not until Tito Sotto displayed his arrogance brilliance!

The funny thing is reactions have been predictable, following the same pattern of those who gained ‘stardom’ before her.

Generally people were appalled, some chose to make fun of it (as the case of the picture above from twitter) and some of course say that it is just a snapshot.

And a snapshot is not enough to tell a story. 

Well true, but for now, AMALAYER would just need to stomach the public disparagement, take down her online social accounts for a while, hibernate.

Or she could do one thing, be elected as a representative in the Philippine Congress or Senate and invoke her right to parliamentary immunity!

Tama Tito Sen?