Top 10 Sure Fire Signs That You’re In For A Fucked Up Elections

TEN: When the Senate, supposed to be composed of 24 individuals esteemed for their competence, brilliance, integrity and independence, is instead filled up with 4 surnames, action stars and a self-righteous clown.

NINE: When you have actors at the sunset of their career waking up  one day realizing that they want to help the poor (some would go to the extent and claim that the poor needs them!) and list themselves as resident of a certain municipality, city or province where they can be elected as mayor, congressman or governor never mind if it’s their first time to set foot on that soil.

EIGHT: When you have political clans who act as if they own a province. Passing down the political seat from father to mother to son and daughters and cousins and back. The same bigots who proclaim their surname spells legacy.

SEVEN: When you have three personalities (Aquino, Villar and Madrigal) known for their mudslinging in the last elections casting allegations of corruption and psychological incapacity among others, now under one political coalition.  Talk about ideology.

SIX: When you have a talent manager running for a seat in the congress whose only claim for fame is her ability to dodge libel complaints and her habit to expel expletives in conjunction with her reference to the Sto. Nino.

FIVE: When the wife of an absentee congressman-boxer runs for a vice-gubernatorial seat armed only with the intention to ‘help the poor’, the latest Hermes bag and a newly ‘botox-ed’ face.

FOUR: When an absentee congressman-boxer whose sole achievement in the house of representative is quote a bible verse and be present at most three times a year, runs for a gubernatorial post after switching political affiliations as often as his fight with Juan Manuel Marquez. Yes, that’s four times already!

THREE: When you have majority of the population voting by the slightest hint of a popular surname never mind track record, never mind competence so long as they promise to be at the side of the poor. The operative word is 'promise' and 'poor'. The former is the end the later being the means to the end. 

TWO: When you have 95% of the candidates running for a government post because either (1) they want to help (2) they are heeding the call of the people. The former being a case of extreme idiocy and the later a serious case of delusion.

ONE: You have majority of the population whose memory retention is just slightly better than a goldfish and whose idea of holding their leaders accountable is only tantamount to highly publicized impeachment proceedings and oftentimes pointless grandstanding that is masked as senate inquiries.