Friday, April 10, 2015

Death By Milk Tea

News broke yesterday about a woman pronounced dead after she bought and drank a milk tea in Manila.

Jolo Revilla learned a lot of lesson upon watching that news. Most importantly, he learned that cleaning a gun is not the only solution, drinking a milk tea might be the best way to do it.

Minor actress Melissa Mendez got into trouble a few weeks back after an altercation with a passenger and the crew of an airline by insisting that she takes a seat not assigned to her so she can take photos of the clouds.

The plane had to eventually return to Manila to deplane the starlet after the crew failed to pacify her. Had this incident happen recently, the crew could just have served Mendez a sip of milk tea so she can calm down.

Meanwhile, The Buzz recently announced that the show will say goodbye after 16 years of airing citing that they need to rethink how the show can still be relevant.

I am surprised that it took them so long to realize that it is just an extension of Kris TV- whose topic revolves around Bimby and the love (love! love!) adventures of Kris Aquino!

Thank you, 'The Buzz' for allowing the Filipino people to at least not hear anything from the conceited Kris Aquino for at least a day in a week.  Imagine how difficult Darla’s life is!

Dear Darla, if it becomes unbearable at times, remember there is always a milk tea!

In other news, Balesin, an exclusive resort for the rich and famous, came under scrutiny once more when the news of ‘yaya meals’ circulated on social media.

In the spirit of fairness, Balesin issued a statement that they will not coerce Darla to taste the ‘yaya meal’ if and when Kris TV would decide to tape an episode there.

PNOY, in a recent statement has insisted that the accountability in the botched Mamasapano operations should be shouldered solely by the axed General Napenas- despite questions on why he allowed his kabarilan and best buddy suspended PNP Chief Purisima to plan and meddle with the operations.

In fairness to PNOY, his policy of passing the blame has been consistent since day one. Only this time GMA is not a convenient scapegoat.

Almost a month ago, VP Jojo Binay claimed that he is the Lee Kuan Yew of the Philippines citing his 'achievements' in Makati when he was still mayor.

While majority of those who heard this pronouncement by the thick-skinned VP Binay either don’t care or disagree, we are all willing to agree with VP Binay provided that he also follows Lee Kuan Yew’s example- DIE!

Someone please serve Jojo Binay a drum of milk tea please before 2016. 

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