Thursday, June 20, 2013

It’s More Flood In The Philippines



It’s that time of the year again when a 15-minute rain is enough to submerge Metro Manila and cause 5 hour traffic in EDSA and C5.

When PNOY was asked to comment on the issue, GMA interjected and said ‘alam ko na ako nanaman ang sisihin mo no? Move on move on din pag may time!’



Here’s what other celebrities have to say about the flooding issue:

‘According to Genesis 6:17, For behold, I will bring a flood of waters upon the earth to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life under heaven. Everything that is on the earth shall die.’
--- Governor-elect, Manny Pakyaw

‘Dong! Sana magbaha sa Cebu kay hindi nila ako binutu! Buti pa tong si Nadia binalik na alahas at sala set ko! Drop ko na ang kaso dong!’
 --- Defeated Congresswoman aspirant, Anabil Rama

 ‘I resign!’
--- former Senate President, Juan Ponce Enrile

‘I resign too!’
--- Majority Floor Leader and Plagiarist, Tito Sotto

‘This is not about me! Hindi dapat ginagawang katatawanan ang ‘rape’ lalong lalo na ang baha sa Metro Manila!’
 ---multi-awarded journalist, Jessica Soho-Parker

‘Paumanhin po kung may nasaktan akong tao! Hindi ko po alam na masama na pala ang mag joke tungkol sa lechon! Seryosong tanong po, yung totoo? Ang baboy po ba nakakalangoy sa baha?’
--- comedy bar comedian turned box office star, Vice Gandara

‘I was very wrong in saying that Manila was the gates of hell. Yours is the reincarnation of Atlantis!’
--- Inferno writer, Dan Brownish

‘How dare you call our beautiful city the gates of hell I  invite you to come over and see for yourself! Don’t forget to bring jetski maulan kasi hindi nakakadaan ang kotse! hihihihi!’
--- MMDA Chairman, Francis Talentado

Elsewhere:

Miami Heat and the San Antonio Spurs are about to go head to head in tomorrow’s monumental Game 7 of the Finals!

Twitter and Facebook would be flooded with updates and status pertaining to the match coming from individuals who barely know these teams and NBA some two weeks ago.  They call themselves fans!

In  local language it is called sunod sa uso.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Freedom From


What is the relevance of the Philippine Independence Day if you are no longer a student who is being obliged to bring a small replica of the country’s flag at school?

To the working class, does it even go beyond the fact that it is a holiday, hence a rest day?

If you think about it, we have no Spaniard conquerors to free ourselves from. Well of course one can argue that the Catholic Church has remained almost unchanged since then up until this point- conservative, constricting and plagued with corruption.

You see, even if a revolution lead by a Bonifacio or a Rizal is no longer relevant, there are a lot of things that we, as a nation need to be liberated from.

For once, we should be liberated from telenovelas that start with a switched-identity premise and ends in a series of kidnappings as well as film festivals showing the infinite reincarnations of Enteng Kabisote, Agimat and Shake, Rattle and Roll.

That also means that TV Patrol and Inquirer should put a stop making Kris Aquino’s rants a national issue. Leave that to Boy Abunda and The Buzz.

Oh! Let us free ourselves too from clowns like Willie Revillame, we deserve a better kind of comedy or entertainment for that matter.


If we say that ‘it is more fun in the Philippines’, we better mean it and that means that we should start seriously thinking about re-constructing our airports.

Consequently, we should be free from carriers like Cebu Pacific whose only claim to fame apart from its constant delayed flights is Claudine Baretto.

If we say that we are a free nation and the beacon of democracy in Asia and in the world, then we should stop patronizing politicians whose credentials only includes their last name or pedigree for that matter.  The Senate is not a family-owned corporation.

That being the case, Maalaala Mo Kaya should stop airing the life stories of the Enriles prior to the election period.

That also goes without saying that the Aquinos should NOT have the monopoly of the Malacanang palace.


While the rest of the world legalized divorce we remained stubborn arguing that we would like to protect the sanctity of marriage and family and yet we champion movies with mistress themes.

Look around you and there are even public officials extremely proud of their ‘extended families’.  What gives?

While we take pride in being the text capital of the world, it also paints a sad picture about how we manage our finances and our perspective in terms of what matters most. The working class would rather have the latest mobile phone model than savings or investments.

Do you ever wonder why Henry Sy is the richest person in this country? Or how omnipresent SM Malls are that their sheer count far exceeds the number of hospitals that we have in the entire country!

I hope that we could also liberate ourselves from the yearly enigma that is flooding.

Please don’t get me started about emancipation from traffic.